Wednesday 23 April 2008

why it's better to be a woman

Why it's better to be a woman ... http://www.hitched.co.uk/

We can get rid of leg hair without pretending that we do a lot of cycling/swimming, or any other sport that would require aerodynamic legs.
We absently hum tunes from musicals without anyone being suspect of our sexuality.
When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it's sad.
We can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a 'short woman's complex'
We don't have to get our strength up between sessions, ...and it's much easier for us to get laid in the first place.
We can get off with teenagers without being called dirty old perverts.
We never ejaculate prematurely.
We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - they look like complete dicks in ours.
We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mommy's boy.
We can cry and get off speeding fines.
The thrill of surprising people by being good at darts......and pool.....and football.
We live longer, so we can be cantankerous old biddies wearing inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers..... men die earlier so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
We know that games are fun, but don't believe there's a direct correlation between the size of our scores and the size of our genitals.
Taxis stop for us.
We get drunk quicker and cheaper.
We've never fancied a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
It does not enhance our social standing to understand the inner workings of a 'ruck' (or any other rugby thing). But we look INCREDIBLY cool if we do.
We never recognise ourselves in aspects of Mr Bean. Ever.
And finally... We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

Tuesday 22 April 2008

the most expensive wedding dress


http://www.elitechoice.org/2007/09/12/150-carat-diamond-wedding-dress-12-mn/
The record breaking
diamond studded wedding dress is a joint invention of Jeweler Martin Katz and dressmaker Renee Strauss. The dress throughout is weaved with a lace of 150 carats diamonds.

The model above carrying the dress is twinkling but unfortunately diamonds aren’t prominent. But if you have the courage to drop $12 million on a dress than make yourself complete by carrying a diamond-encrusted sandals and platinum handbag retailed at $163 mn.
The dress is still available for sale and if you have the desire then Strauss and Katz would love to ink the deal with you. But I can assure you one thing, the resale value of the dress is far better than the existing and evolving
wedding dresses. Calm down your curiosity by taking a deep look at this bravura dress.
http://www.elitechoice.org/2007/09/12/150-carat-diamond-wedding-dress-12-mn/

40 rules men wished women knew

40 Rules Men Wished Women Knew

http://www.hitched.co.uk

1. If you think you might be fat, you are. Don't ask us. Just get your fat arse in a gym.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put the f*cker down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever. It causes arguments when we comment on it.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present.......again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Anyone can buy condoms.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats.
10. Sunday = Football/Rugby/Any other sport. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not a sport.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13. You have enough clothes.
14. You have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is a twat and your Dad probably is too.
17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
18. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than pissing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
20. Most blokes own two to three pairs of shoes, what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, that would look good with your dress?
21. Yes, No and Mmm are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Now.
23. Your Mum doesn't have to be our best friend.
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
25. Check your oil. It is an essential part of the car.
26. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
28. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
29. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.
30. The male models with the great bodies you see in magazines are all gay. Face it.
31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
33. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.34. Consider Sport a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.
35. Women wearing Wonderbras, low-cut blouses, tight tops, no jackets, chest level logo'd t-shirts etc. etc. lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
36. When we are in bed and look tired this means that we are tired and does not mean that we want to discuss the relationship.
37. If you want some dessert after a meal - order some. You don't have to finish it. You can just taste it if you like but don't say "No, I couldn't/shouldn't/don't want any" and then eat half of mine.
38. Dieting doesn't work without exercise.
39. If you're on a diet it doesn't mean my meals should be rabbit-food nouvelle-cuisine style. A man's four essential food groups are: white meat, red meat, cold beer and more cold beer. Please ensure all meals contain a good balance of the above in good quantities - everything else falls under the category 'garnish'.
40. Do not question our sense of direction.

punctuation :))

An English professor wrote the words :
"A woman without her man is nothing"on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."


All the females in the class wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing."

Punctuation is powerful

top 25 most extravagant celebrity weddings

Top 25 Most Extravegant Celebrity WeddingsBlog Category : Weddings, Celebrity, Features --- Blogged by : natasha on March 17, 2008 at 5:51 am
www.bridalpartytees.com

The average cost of a wedding in the US is currently about $30,000, according to CNN. But for a celebrity wedding that amount will hardly cover the dress. Check out these extravagant celebrity weddings that are some of the priciest on record.
Ryan and Trista : One of the only reality-TV romances to ever work out, Trista and Ryan met on the set of The Bachelorette and got engaged soon after the show ended. ABC executives quickly proposed the idea of televising the wedding and agreed to pay for what some are saying was a $4 million ceremony and reception held at Lodge Rancho Mirage in California. The entire place was covered in pink flowers – some say over 30,000 were used to decorate the room! Trista was outfitted in a Badgley Mishcka dress and diamond encrusted shoes from Stuart Weitzman. Food was flown in from 14 countries and guests went through over 180 bottles of champagne, 600 bottles of wine, and 1,500 pounds of chocolate.
Liza Minelli and David Gest: This strange couple was married in a $3.5 million ceremony in 2002. They were introduced to each other by Michael Jackson, a longtime friend of Gest’s, who also served as the best man in the wedding. It was a star-studded affair, with music legends like Gloria Gaynor, Al Green and Dionne Warwick in attendance. Liz Taylor was also part of the wedding party, standing as Minelli’s matron of honor. Gest and Minelli divorced little more than a year later, and Gest sued her for $10 million, claiming she was an abusive alcoholic. A dramatic end to what started out as a fairy tale romance.
Paul McCartney and Heather Mills: Though this couple is now going through a messy divorce, their 2002 wedding was a lavish affair, costing $3 million. Held at Castle Leslie in Ireland, the guest list included Elton John, Bill Clinton, and Eric Clapton. While McCartney tried to keep details of the wedding secret, it is known that guests were treated to an all-vegetarian Indian buffet and a spectacular fireworks display after the ceremony. Unfortunately this didn’t make it the long haul the two recently divorced and the settlement topped the charts as the most expensive divorce in British History. The Beatles were right in saying ,”Can’t buy me love.”
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes : Scientologist Tom Cruise and former Dawson’s Creek star Katie Holmes had quite a public courtship, with Cruise loudly declaring his love for her on Oprah and at several press events. So it’s no surprise that their wedding ceremony was a major event. Traveling to Italy, the couple tied the knot at the Odescalchi Castle in Lake Bracciano. The affair cost $2 million. Both Cruise and Holmes wore Armani and exchanged white gold and diamond Cartier wedding bands. In attendance were some of the couple’s closest Hollywood friends, such as David and Victoria Beckham, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett, and Brooke Shields. These two are still happily married with one child together and rumors buzzing that there could be a second on the way.
Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman: This pop star married music executive Bratman in a 2005 ceremony at the Staglin Family Vineyard in Napa Valley. Though the guest list was relatively small – with only 130 guests – the couple still managed to spend $2 million on their nuptials. Aguilera wore a Christian LaCroix gown and the couple exchanged wedding bands designed by Steven Webster of London. This couple met when Jordan was working for Christina’s management company Azoff Music Management. Christina’s manager Irving Azoff introduced the couple. They had a son on January 12, 2008 his name is Max. The new mama Christina spends the majority of her time now raising her baby boy Max and says her career will be on hold for awhile.
Liz Taylor and Larry Fortensky: Not surprisingly, Taylor’s seventh marriage to construction worker Larry Fortensky – a man 20 years younger than her – didn’t work out. The two met while going through treatment for alcoholism at the Betty Ford Clinic and married in 1991 at Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch. The ceremony cost $2 million. It was outdoors and a complete media circus. If it was any indication of the control issues to come, Taylor’s hairdresser served as Fortensky’s best man.
Liz Hurley and Arun Nayar: The $2 million nuptials between Hurley and Indian businessman Nayar was an intercontinental event, with ceremonies in both England and India. The festivities began with a ceremony at a 15th century castle in England and ended after five days of traditional Indian rites in Mumbai and Rajasthan. Guests included Elton John, Kate Moss and Hugh Grant. During the wedding a fight broke out between security gaurds and reporters. It started when the reporters wouldn’t let the couple’s car gain access to the drive to the Indian festivity. Then escalated when reporters worked past the guards and moved into the wedding before being forcibly removed.
Elton John and David Furnish: John and Furnish made formal their 12 year partnership with a civil ceremony in 2005. Their reception costs totaled $1.75 million, as 700 guests were invited to the champagne-fueled party held on the grounds of John’s mansion in Windsor, after the couple’s legal ceremony at Guidhall, the same location where Prince Charles married his soul mate, Camilla Parker Bowles. The couple met when a friend introduced them at a dinner party at Elton’s mansion. Elton said that David was the reason that he was able to overcome his addictions to both drugs and alcohol.
Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren: Not betraying the game that has brought Woods’ fortune, the golf supernova and his Swedish-model bride married in 2004 at the Sandy Lane Golf Resort in Barbados. Partially due to the fact that the couple rented out the entire hotel and resort, the wedding cost almost $2 million. There were 150 guests, including Oprah Winfrey and Michael Jordan. Elin wore a simple gown and flew in her personal hairstylists from London. At the reception, champagne and caviar were served, and the banquet room was decorated with over 10,000 red and black roses. Music was provided by Hootie and the Blowfish. No surprise that the world’s best golfer would also have the world’s best wedding. This couple is still together today and Tiger is a daddy as the couple has one daughter to share his love of golf with.
Lady Diana and Prince Charles: The royal wedding of Prince Charles and Diana Spencer will go down in history as the most-watched wedding ever. Broadcast on TV, an estimated 750 million viewers tuned in, along with 3,500 invited guests and 600,000 spectators who crowded the side of the roads hoping to glimpse the royal couple. Diana’s Emmanuel gown, with its famous 25-foot-long train that trailed dramatically along the red carpet of St. Paul’s cathedral, was all the buzz and has been dubbed the most signature wedding dress of all time. It’s now shown in museums all over the world. Was this a match made in heaven? Unfortunately not as these two divorced in 1996. Just a year later the dear and loved Diana passed away in a tragic and sometimes controversial car accident.
Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones: Douglas and Zeta-Jones wed in a $1.5 million ceremony at the Plaza Hotel in New York City. Douglas, famed for his expensive divorce from first wife Diandra Douglas, is also newsworthy for hosting one of the priciest celebrity weddings on record. Like Brosnan, Douglas negotiated the rights to the wedding story and photos to OK! Magazine, so guests were forced to keep mum prior to the event. Zeta-Jones’ Welsh heritage was displayed proudly in the décor and the menu, as guests were treated to Welsh lamb. Douglas’ son Cameron from his first marriage was the best man, and attendees included stars like Sean Connery, Sharon Stone and Christopher Reeves.
Pierce Brosnan and Keely Shaye Smith: This former James Bond married his bride Smith in a 2001 ceremony at an Irish castle. It was a highly private and very spendy affair, with Brosnan dropping $1.5 million on the ceremony. Both the bride and groom were whisked to and from the ceremony in Rolls Royces and Hello! Magazine bought the exclusive rights to the wedding photos. The couple’s six-tier wedding cake was said to cost almost $14,000. It comes as no surprise that the then James Bond’s wedding would be a very dramatic and beautiful event. The 120 people in attendance were the only people to set eyes on the wedding couple.
Eddie Murphy and Nicole Mitchell : After five years of courtship, this couple wed in 1993 in a luxurious $1.5 million ceremony at The Plaza Hotel in New York City. There were 500 guests, including Bruce Willis, Quincy Jones and Russell Simmons. The entire grand ballroom was covered in tulips, gardenias, and orchids, all of which were immediately delivered to patients in a Harlem hospital following the wedding. Cristal champagne and lobster were served at the sit down dinner.



Tori Spelling and Charlie Shanian : The short-lived wedding between Spelling, formerly of Beverly Hills 90210 fame, and Shanian, a producer, was not an understated affair, costing over $1 million. The ceremony was held at Spelling’s father’s estate in front of 400 guests. Spelling wore a flapper-style Badgley Mishcka bead-encrusted wedding gown and 2.5 carat diamond earrings. Wolfgang Puck designed the wedding menu, and all guests left with a silver bottle of champagne with the couple’s names engraved in the side. Just 15 months later, however, Shanian and Spelling split for good. Spelling is now married to actor Dean McDermott.



Madonna and Guy Ritchie: Star guests at the New Year’s Eve wedding of Madonna and movie director Guy Ritchie included Gwenyth Paltrow, Sting, and Stella McCartney, who designed Madonna’s vintage-style dress. The ceremony was held at a castle in Scotland, where Ritchie grew up. He wore a traditional Scottish kilt; Madonna accented her dress with a 78-carat diamond tiara. The bill? $1.5 million. Madonna is 10 years Guy’s senior, this happily married couple has had three children together. One daughter and two sons. The daughter being the oldest coming in 1996 and the sons both coming in the new millennium one in 2000 and the other in 2005.
Donald Trump and Melania Knauss: Declaring their love with a lavish $1 million ceremony, Trump and Knauss exchanged vows in front of over 500 guests, including Oprah Winfrey, Clint Eastwood and Elton John. Knauss’ $200,000 John Galliano gown, with its 13-foot train and crystal accents, was the centerpiece of the ceremony – she even modeled it for a Vogue cover shoot before the wedding. The wedding reception for Trump, who is 28 years his bride’s senior, was held at Trump’s luxurious Mal-a-Lago hotel in Palm Beach, Florida. Mr. Trump finally opened his mouth to say words other than “you’re fired” and said “I do” in this lavish and luxurious ceremony of matrimony.
Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston : This understated couple’s $1 million wedding in 2000 was held at the Mailbu estate of TV producer Marcy Carsey. There were 200 guests in attendance, four bands and another celebratory fireworks display. Pitt personally designed their matching white-gold wedding bands; Aniston wore a Lawrence Steele dress and Manolo Blahnik sandals. Guests included the entire cast of Friends, Cameron Diaz, and Melissa Ethridge.




David and Victoria Beckham : Posh Spice married soccer star David Beckham in 1999 in a small ceremony at an Irish castle before 29 guests, all of whom were instructed to wear white and black. Victoria donned a champagne-colored Vera Wang gown and Becks a white suit. Their 4-month-old son Brooklyn lay in a crib beside the altar and acted as the ring bearer. After the ceremony, the couple released white doves into the air and celebrated with a gigantic fireworks display and reception for hundreds of guests. Total costs were said to be around $800,000.



Ashley Judd and Dario Franchitti: Another Scottish wedding, Judd and Scottish race car driver Franchitti were married in the same castle as Madonna and Ritchie. The couple’s $750,000 ceremony was attended by 100 guests, including Salma Hayek and Ed Norton. Judd wore a sleek Armani gown; Franchitti a traditional Scottish kilt. The couple met at a friends wedding reception. The friend told Judd that there would be a cute race car driver in attendance. While Judd is a huge Kentucky Basketball fan and not much of a racing fan she found enough space in her heart for this race car driver.


Eva Longoria and Tony Parker : The Desperate Housewives star and San Antonio Spurs married on the coveted 7/7/07 wedding date in a 17th century castle in France – Parker’s native home. While some of the reports were dismissed, it was said that the wedding cake was going to be made in California and flown in first class for the ceremony, resulting in a possible price tag of $40,000. But their wedding was the highlight of the summer – who didn’t see the paparazzi pics of Longoria arriving at Paris City Hall in her pink Chanel jumper? This couple is still very happily married as they both continue on in their own career paths.



Mariah Carey and Tommy Mottola: It’s said that Carey modeled her 1993 wedding to music producer Tommy Mottola after Princess Diana’s marriage to Prince Charles. In the $500,000 ceremony, Carey wore a $25,000 Vera Wang gown designed after Princess Di’s with a 27-foot-long train. She also wore a custom-made tiara designed to look like one of Princess Diana’s. Fifty flower girls were present at the ceremony, and Carey and Mottola ordered a six-tier cake for the guests. This marriage was not a long one however as the couple separated in 1997. They parted ways and Mariah Carey’s career continued to blossom in the years to come.


Marc Antony and Dayanara Torres : Though he is now married to Jennifer Lopez, Anthony’s 2002 marriage to Miss Universe Dayanara Torres was one for the history books. The $500,000 ceremony was held in San Juan, Puerto Rico in a 500-year-old cathedral. Over 200 guests gathered to watch Torres and Anthony renew their vows (they were originally married in a quick ceremony in Las Vegas in 2000.) At the lavish affair, Torres wore a $30,000 Reem Acra Bucheese gown and the couple exchanged rings worth $20,000.
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban: The Oscar-winning actress and country music star wed in their hometown of Sydney, Australia in a ceremony that cost more than $250,000. Kidman wore a floor-length Balenciaga gown, and arrived at the cliff-top church in a limo with her father. There were 250 invitees in attendance, including fellow-Aussies like Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, and Naomi Watts. Throngs of fans lined the streets as guests were arriving at the ceremony, and while many details were kept private and out of the photographer’s reach, Kidman and Urban did leave a case of Victoria Bitter beer for the paparazzi. This couple has two children that Kidman adopted with Tom Cruise and they have not had any of their own.


Barbara Streisand and James Brolin: This couple wed in a traditional Jewish ceremony in the living room of her Malibu mansion. And while they didn’t drop a lot of money on the location or entertainment (Streisand sang at the reception), the flower bill alone must have been staggering. Streisand had florists transform her home into an indoor garden of sorts using tens of thousands of flowers. Streisand wore a crystal-encrusted Donna Karan wedding gown and diamond choker; guests were treated to soft-shell crab and porcine ravioli. When the couple met on a blind date James had just cut off all of his hair and the first thing Barbara said to him was “Geeze what happened to your hair!” From that moment on they were happily married as James said he enjoyed how truthful Barbara was.
Celine Dion and Rene Angelil : The French-Canadian singer married her longtime manager in Montreal on December 17, 1994. She wore an extravagant pearl-encrusted gown that took 1,000 hours to make and a seven pound crystal tiara. The reception at the Hotel Westin Mont-Royal featured artificial snowflakes falling on the 530 guests dancing to a 21-piece orchestra. This couple seems to be a true example of how to make a marriage work as they hit their toughest point when Rene was diagnosed with cancer. Celine has stayed by his side and continues to love him through the entire thing. Good luck you two.

Saturday 19 April 2008

prayers :)

FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages me back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.Amen.

MALE PRAYER
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobswho owns a liquor store and a bass boat. This doesn'trhyme and I don't give a shit

101 things NOT to say on your wedding night

101 things NOT to say on your wedding night

1. But everybody looks funny naked!
2. You woke me up for that?
3. Did I mention the video camera?
4. Do you smell something burning?
5. (in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...
6. Try breathing through your nose.
7. A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!
8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
10. But whipped cream makes me break out.
11. Person 1: This is your first time..right?Person 2: Yeah.. today
12. Hurry up! This room rents by the hour!
13. Can you please pass me the remote control?
14. Do you accept Visa?
15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
17. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!
18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.
19. (using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?
20. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
21. (holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!
22. Do you get any premium movie channels?
23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!
24. (preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned this couch!
25. Got any penicillin?
26. But I just brushed my teeth...
27. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
29. I want a baby!
30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!
31. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?
32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...
33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
34. I think you have it on backwards.
35. When is this supposed to feel good?
36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
37. You're good enough to do this for a living!
38. Is that blood on the headboard?
39. Did I remember to take my pill?
40. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?
41. I wish we got the Playboy channel...
42. That leak better be from the waterbed!
43. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!
44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow..
45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance..
47. No, really... I do this part better myself!
48. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!
49. This would be more fun with a few more people..
50. You're almost as good as my ex!
51. Do you know the definition of statutory rape?
52. Is that you I smell or is this mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?
53. You look younger than you feel.
54. Perhaps you're just out of practice.
55. You sweat more than a galloping stallion!
56. They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.
57. Now I know why he/she dumped you...
58. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?
59. You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.
60. What tampon?
61. Have you ever considered liposuction?
62. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
63. What are you planning to make for breakfast?
64. I have a confession...
65. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!
66. Are those real or am I just behind the times?
67. Were you by any chance repressed as a child?
68. Is that a hanging sculpture?
69. You'll still vote for me, won't you?
70. Did I mention my transsexual operation?
71. I really hate women who actually think sex means something!
72. Did you come yet, dear?
73. I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about...
74. A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!
75. Does this count as a date?
76. Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!
77. Hic! I need another beer for this please.
78. I think biting is romantic- don't you?
79. Q: You can cook, too right?A: (Whaddaya think I'm doin'?)
80. When would you like to meet my parents?
81. Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like...Woman: Yourself?
82. Have you seen 'Fatal Attraction'?
83. Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names.
84. Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed.
85. (in a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls?
86. I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light?
87. Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.
88. Sorry but I don't do toes!
89. You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!
90. Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!
91. Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...
92. I'll bet you didn't know I work for 'The Enquirer'.
93. So that's why they call you MR. Flash!
94. My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
95. Is this a sin too?
96. I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!
97. Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?
98. Long kisses clog my sinuses...
99. Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise...
100. How long do you plan to be 'almost there'?
101. You mean you're NOT my blind date?

see more jokes here http://www.hitched.co.uk

joke :)

A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married 12 times. On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride said to her new groom, "Please, promise to be gentle. I am still a virgin.

"This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought that at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform.

He asked his new bride to explain the phenomenon.

She responded:

My first husband was a Sales Representative who spent the entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, how great it was going to be.

My second husband was from Software Services; he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he promised he would send me documentation.

My third husband was from Field Services and repeatedly said that everything was diagnostically OK, but couldn't get the system up.

My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and you know the old saying-'Those who CAN, DO; those who can't, teach.'

My fifth husband was from the Telemarketing Department. He knew he had the order, but he wasn't quite sure when he was going to be able to deliver.

My sixth husband was an Engineer. He told me that he understood the basic process but needed three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

My seventh husband was from Finance and Administration. He knew how, but he just wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

My eighth husband was from Standards and Regulations, and he told me that he met the minimum standards but regulations weren't clear on how to do it.

My ninth husband was a Marketing Manager. Even though he had the product. he just wasn't sure how to position it.

My tenth husband was a psychiatrist. All he ever wanted to do was talk about it.

My eleventh husband was a gynecologist, and all he ever wanted to do was look at it.

My twelfth husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to do was . . . -God I miss him!

So now I've married you, and I'm really excited."

"Why is that," asked the lawyer. "Well, it should be obvious! You're a lawyer!! I just know I'm going to get screwed this time!


http://www.hitched.co.uk


marriage joke

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

see more jokes here

wedding cake



beautiful patterns

see more wedding cakes here

wedding cake



wow. this wedding cake looks wonderful.
see more cakes here

wedding cake


liza's wedding


this fur coat is gorgeous. did you know that this was one of the most expensive weddings?

hello

there are so many things about weddings. i like how everything starts. boy meet girl. everything is so wonderful. everybody is happy. and slowly but surely everything gets ruined.
but, anyway weddings can be fantastic. and we have so may examples...
so, i want this blog to be about absolutely beautiful weddings :)