Wednesday 23 April 2008

why it's better to be a woman

Why it's better to be a woman ... http://www.hitched.co.uk/

We can get rid of leg hair without pretending that we do a lot of cycling/swimming, or any other sport that would require aerodynamic legs.
We absently hum tunes from musicals without anyone being suspect of our sexuality.
When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it's sad.
We can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a 'short woman's complex'
We don't have to get our strength up between sessions, ...and it's much easier for us to get laid in the first place.
We can get off with teenagers without being called dirty old perverts.
We never ejaculate prematurely.
We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - they look like complete dicks in ours.
We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mommy's boy.
We can cry and get off speeding fines.
The thrill of surprising people by being good at darts......and pool.....and football.
We live longer, so we can be cantankerous old biddies wearing inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers..... men die earlier so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
We know that games are fun, but don't believe there's a direct correlation between the size of our scores and the size of our genitals.
Taxis stop for us.
We get drunk quicker and cheaper.
We've never fancied a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
It does not enhance our social standing to understand the inner workings of a 'ruck' (or any other rugby thing). But we look INCREDIBLY cool if we do.
We never recognise ourselves in aspects of Mr Bean. Ever.
And finally... We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

1 comment:

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